parenting

Deal with common teen woes

Teen years are never that easy. Rebellion seems to be their topmost aim in life, making it seem like your teenagers are going out of their way to harass you. Adolescence is a time of fast change in children both physically and emotionally. However, you don't need to take things quietly. You can fix some of the most common teen behaviour problems in a relatively genteel way.

Suddenly you notice that your sweet, innocent child is treating you like dirt, disregarding everything you say and giving you rude replies when asked or spoken to. It's hard for parents to deal with this. But remember that part of adolescence is about separating and individuating. This is your child's way of finding their own identities. Give them time to focus on their friends more than on family. If your child hurts you, don't hurt him/ her back. You need to be the calm one and be patient for the phase to pass by. Let your teen know that you're there for him no matter what - this will give him confidence to confide in you once in a while.

If you find your teen glued to his/ her cell phone, worry not, you aren't alone. Don't ban the mobile phone - cutting off your teenager from his friends this way will only give you more grief. Set reasonable limits like no texting or calls during meal times. Try and make them pay their own mobile bills. Instead of having a computer in their bedroom, keep it in the living room. This gives you a chance of keeping an eye on usage activities and the hours they spend surfing online. Use softwares that help you monitor the use of any questionable web sites.

Staying out too late and skipping deadlines is another common problem for parents of teenagers. It can get especially frustrating if your child ignores curfew time repeatedly. This is what teenagers want to do - test your patience. First of all ask yourself if the deadline you're setting is reasonable. Ask your friends what time limit they set for their kids. Experts suggest you give a 15 minute grace period. However, if they cross it by a huge margin reprimand them - ground them at home for a week. If you mete out a punishment, stick to it. Also try to find out if your child is staying out because they feel unhappy at home. Communication is important.

Another common complaint that most parents have is having their kids hang out with friends that they disapprove of. Criticising your teenagers friends will only get them more defensive. Remember that at that age, teens are very attached to their friends and any insult will affect them hugely. However, if you find out that your child is experimenting with drugs with his friends, it's time to have a serious talk. Take professional counselling if necessary.