Does age influence our dating choices?
Does age influence our dating choices?
A recent study by a matchmaking website in the UK reveals that women's taste in men changes as they get older. We ask experts if this is true.
Whoever thinks that age is just a number — and has no bearing on our dating choices — would do well to look at the findings of a recent study in the UK.
The study, conducted by a matchmaking website, reveals that as women become more mature, their preferences and taste in men change. We get experts to explain why it happens...
Psychiatrist Anjali Chhabria says the findings of the study are true — not only for women, but men, too. People seek different things at different points in life. Our choices in partners will also reflect this change.
She says, "What we want from a relationship when we are 16 may depend on peer pressure, hormones, ego-boost, etc. But at 25, relationships may depend more on a person's social and emotional needs. As you grow older, a relationship may depend on how much emotional, mental and financial support it gives you. This change, in my observation, is present regardless of a person's gender."
Psychologist Mansi Hasan agrees. She says, "At 20, one may want to look cool in front of friends by having a boyfriend who is everybody's blue-eyed boy. But at 30, a woman needs a man who can take care of her and handle the responsibility of a family. At that stage, she seeks stability and security, because she is ready to start a family. Looks may no longer be a priority. In their 40's and 50's, women not only want a husband, but also a friend and companion who fulfils her in more than one way. Even men go through these changes. However, for them, physical attraction is as significant an aspect as emotional compatibility when it comes to long-lasting relationships."
Keep the spark alive
As we keep evolving as individuals, it will get difficult to maintain the spark in a relationship. Changing expectations from life and the pressures of modern lifestyles also strain ties. To keep the spark alive, one needs to constantly work at it. Here's what you can do.
Explore yourself: If you are busy finding faults with your partner, without considering how you may have changed, too, it will harm the relationship. You make an effort first. Do small things to make your partner happy.
Grow together: Every phase comes with fresh excitement and responsibilities. Discuss your inhibitions with each other. At various stages, you will discover different aspects of yourself, your partner and your relationship. Grow not only as individuals, but even as partners. It's important to learn from mistakes and appreciate each other's strengths.
Expectations create havoc: It's impossible not to have expectations, but being a bit realistic and lenient can go a long way. Also, focus on your partner's strengths, not weaknesses.
Take time out: Spend time with each other doing fun things, like you would have done during the initial days of your relationship. Invest time.
Build intimacy: Touching, holding hands, cuddling and kissing help re-build intimacy. Saying 'I love you', 'I am sorry' and 'I miss you' go a long way. These words, when taken for granted and unuttered, widen the gap in a relationship.
Blame game: Avoid blame games to resolve conflicts. On the contrary, it worsens the situation.
Comparisons: Don't compare your relationship with those of your parents, friends or extended family. Each relationship is different just as each person is.
'We' time instead of 'Me' time: It's important for everyone to have some space, but not so much that it creates a void.
What the study reveals:
Here's what women seek in their 'Mr Right' as they grow older
Age 18-24:
A physically attractive man will enjoy the attention of these young women. They tend to be superficial and are only looking for someone they can show off. At this age, they have carried over — from adolescence — their desire to fit in and belong. So, they seek friends' approval to validate their choices.
Age 25-34:
More likely to consider long-term relationships, they will be attracted to young, ambitious, charming and handsome men. Sexual compatibility is also important for women at this age. As women grow confident and work towards success, they are likely to be attracted to partners who mirror these qualities.
Age 35-44:
These women could be attracted to an older man — someone who is established, stable, successful and experienced in life. Such a man offers the depth of resources (both material and emotional) required for a successful partnership.
Age 45-54:
With changing hormone levels, they become more assertive and experimental and also start celebrating their wisdom. These women are prepared to take risks and seek new adventures. While they are not afraid to search for passion, they understand that security is important.
Age 55+:
These women look for intelligence, shared values and a sense of humour. They are also likely to be more picky.
Whoever thinks that age is just a number — and has no bearing on our dating choices — would do well to look at the findings of a recent study in the UK.
The study, conducted by a matchmaking website, reveals that as women become more mature, their preferences and taste in men change. We get experts to explain why it happens...
Psychiatrist Anjali Chhabria says the findings of the study are true — not only for women, but men, too. People seek different things at different points in life. Our choices in partners will also reflect this change.
She says, "What we want from a relationship when we are 16 may depend on peer pressure, hormones, ego-boost, etc. But at 25, relationships may depend more on a person's social and emotional needs. As you grow older, a relationship may depend on how much emotional, mental and financial support it gives you. This change, in my observation, is present regardless of a person's gender."
Psychologist Mansi Hasan agrees. She says, "At 20, one may want to look cool in front of friends by having a boyfriend who is everybody's blue-eyed boy. But at 30, a woman needs a man who can take care of her and handle the responsibility of a family. At that stage, she seeks stability and security, because she is ready to start a family. Looks may no longer be a priority. In their 40's and 50's, women not only want a husband, but also a friend and companion who fulfils her in more than one way. Even men go through these changes. However, for them, physical attraction is as significant an aspect as emotional compatibility when it comes to long-lasting relationships."
Keep the spark alive
As we keep evolving as individuals, it will get difficult to maintain the spark in a relationship. Changing expectations from life and the pressures of modern lifestyles also strain ties. To keep the spark alive, one needs to constantly work at it. Here's what you can do.
Explore yourself: If you are busy finding faults with your partner, without considering how you may have changed, too, it will harm the relationship. You make an effort first. Do small things to make your partner happy.
Grow together: Every phase comes with fresh excitement and responsibilities. Discuss your inhibitions with each other. At various stages, you will discover different aspects of yourself, your partner and your relationship. Grow not only as individuals, but even as partners. It's important to learn from mistakes and appreciate each other's strengths.
Expectations create havoc: It's impossible not to have expectations, but being a bit realistic and lenient can go a long way. Also, focus on your partner's strengths, not weaknesses.
Take time out: Spend time with each other doing fun things, like you would have done during the initial days of your relationship. Invest time.
Build intimacy: Touching, holding hands, cuddling and kissing help re-build intimacy. Saying 'I love you', 'I am sorry' and 'I miss you' go a long way. These words, when taken for granted and unuttered, widen the gap in a relationship.
Blame game: Avoid blame games to resolve conflicts. On the contrary, it worsens the situation.
Comparisons: Don't compare your relationship with those of your parents, friends or extended family. Each relationship is different just as each person is.
'We' time instead of 'Me' time: It's important for everyone to have some space, but not so much that it creates a void.
What the study reveals:
Here's what women seek in their 'Mr Right' as they grow older
Age 18-24:
A physically attractive man will enjoy the attention of these young women. They tend to be superficial and are only looking for someone they can show off. At this age, they have carried over — from adolescence — their desire to fit in and belong. So, they seek friends' approval to validate their choices.
Age 25-34:
More likely to consider long-term relationships, they will be attracted to young, ambitious, charming and handsome men. Sexual compatibility is also important for women at this age. As women grow confident and work towards success, they are likely to be attracted to partners who mirror these qualities.
Age 35-44:
These women could be attracted to an older man — someone who is established, stable, successful and experienced in life. Such a man offers the depth of resources (both material and emotional) required for a successful partnership.
Age 45-54:
With changing hormone levels, they become more assertive and experimental and also start celebrating their wisdom. These women are prepared to take risks and seek new adventures. While they are not afraid to search for passion, they understand that security is important.
Age 55+:
These women look for intelligence, shared values and a sense of humour. They are also likely to be more picky.
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